I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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