Girls should come with a carfax report
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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