Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
