I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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