My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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