Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
