You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize