I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Still dying that you shit outside
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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