i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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