You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Everyone says I win the strip club
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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