i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
