there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she woke up with a sticky ear
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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