Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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