Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My dick has a subreddit
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
