everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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