I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
