Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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