the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
