What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
