You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
