I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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