You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
