pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
