So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
