Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
