I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
