where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
