he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
