Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
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