"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
