I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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