Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
