There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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