so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
