Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
