i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
