She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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