I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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