People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
