even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
