I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
