i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
