it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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