2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
