GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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