you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
