Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
