dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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