I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize