When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize