A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
