I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Gay?
German.
Pity.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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