It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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