A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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