I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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