Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
