We won't sleep together?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
